Week 13 preview picks

Ron Mexico loses the big game . . . and his cool.

The Atlanta Falcons have dropped their last four games, so what does one of the most overly hyped athletes in America do? He tries to insult the fans who continue to put up with his poor playing abilities week after week.

The Falcons are a disaster across the board. Special teams suck it time and again. Vick cannot connect with receives. Nobody is doing his part to make this team a success.

So if you are in charge of decision-making in Flowery Branch, what the heck do you do? If it was me, bench and fire would be the only solutions to try and turn this thing around.

What do you say?

The results are in!

Truth be told, Fantasy Fanatic (FF) did not make her own picks this week. Due to unexpected illness, someone else posted the FF selections this week.

The Urban Docent (aka UD aka The Not Blogger) has regained a larger victory margin over his closest rivals -- 8 to 10 games, depending on where you look. This represents a much-improved performance over last year's bad showing, which I lost handily.

Looking forward, the office picks will continue through to the big game coming up in February.

Game On!

Every coin has two sides . . . .

Tails


Heads

Guitar Hero 2 - Hidden Tracks?

Strong Bad -- Trogdor
The Acrobrats -- Laughtrack
All That Remains -- Six
The Amazing Royal Crowns -- Mr. Fix-It
Anarchy Club -- Collide
Artillery -- One For The Road
Bang Camaro -- Push Push (Lady Lightning)
Brian Kahanek -- Gemini
Buckethead -- Jordan
Count Zero -- Radium Eyes
Dethklok -- THUNDERHORSE
Drist -- Arterial Black
Every Time I Die -- The New Black
Freezepop -- Less Talk More Rokk
Honest Bob and the Factory-to-Dealer Incentives -- Soy Bomb
The Last Vegas -- Raw Dog
Made in Mexico -- Yes We Can
Megasus -- Red Lottery
The Neighborhoods -- Parasite
Shadows Fall -- The Light That Blinds
That Handsome Devil -- Elephant Bones
Vagiant -- FTK
Valient Thorr -- Fall of Pangea
Voivod -- X-Stream

Guitar Hero 2 - Furious Fretwork

Anthrax - Madhouse


Lamb of God - Laid to Rest


Living End - Carry Me Home
(skipped town)

Reverend Horton Heat - Psychobilly Freakout


Rush - YYZ
(m.i.a.)

Avenged Sevenfold - Beast and the Harlot


Dick Dale - Misirlou


Lynyrd Skynyrd - Free Bird
(classic; often imitated, never duplicated)

Megadeth - Hangar 18
(Dave Mustaine sucks)

Suicidal Tendencies - Institutionalized

Guitar Hero 2 - Relentless Riffs

Allman Brothers - Jessica


Heart - Crazy on You
(m.i.a.)

Jane's Addiction - Stop


Stone Temple Pilots - Trippin' on a Hole in a Paper Heart


Stray Cats - Rock This Town

Guitar Hero 2 - Return of the Shred

Aerosmith - Last Child


Primus - John the Fisherman


Rage Against the Machine - Killing in the Name Of


Sword - Freya


Thin Lizzy - Bad Reputation

Guitar Hero 2 - Thrash and Burn

Butthole Surfers - Who Was in My Room Last Night


Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child O' Mine


Rolling Stones - Can't You Hear Me Knockin'
(sorry)

Matthew Sweet - Girlfriend
(not here)

Warrant - Cherry Pie

Guitar Hero 2 - String-Snappers

Alice in Chains - Them Bones


Black Sabbath - War Pigs
(I don't think so . . .)

Foo Fighters - Monkey Wrench


Iggy Pop - Search and Destroy


Pretenders - Tattooed Love Boys

Guitar Hero 2 - Amp-Warmers

Kansas - Carry on Wayward Son
(not a chance . . .)

Kiss - Strutter


Nirvana - Heart-Shapped Box
(yuck)

Police - Message in a Bottle


Van Halen - You Really Got Me

Guitar Hero 2 - Opening Licks

Wolfmother - Woman

Cheap Trick - Surrender

Danzig - Mother

Motley Crue - Shout at the Devil

Spinal Tap - Tonight I'm Gonna Rock You Tonight
( . . . )

WNTE rev.2.2

Apparently the greater Winston-Salem, N.C., community has some fine eating establishments and some crappy ones. Here is a quick run down of some recent food-related transgressions:

No. 1 Chinese -- No employees washed their hands; food not being thawed properly

Mickey's Country Kitchen -- Extensive equipment cleaning and repair needed in the kitchen area; dry food products should be stored in approved, covered containers.

Waffle House -- Employees reminded to wash their hands after changing tasks; no sanitizer available at the start of the inspection (a repeat violation).

Verde Antequera (re-graded) -- General cleaning needed in refrigeration gaskets.

Another All-Time Worst Song - Period

To say that Stakka Bo's "Here We Go" is bad just doesn't even begin to cut it. This is by far one of the most fitting selections for our hall of shame. Don't let the video fool you -- this is poison for the earhole.

Here we go again
here we go go go
to the temple of consumption
get your gear and start to spend
here we go go go with total dedication

As some sort of prototypes I serve to be
you see tomorrow's dream has never been part of me
consume today and leave the rest behind you
tomorrow's a surprise party buy a ticket too
c'mon
faster livin' faster live as fast as you're able
you better eat the food while it's still
hot on the table spend if you can

the greens are burning in your pocket
if you spend it right now you'll get as high as a rocket

Everything you don't use will loose it's value tomorrow
consume to much today and you can always borrow
this paradigm's the best one since the day of creation
get your gear and shape up this is the ... ?
shop till you drop has built this civilization
don't believe what you hear 'bout the next generation
if you go with a lot of toys you'll slip away a happy man
the greens are burning in you pockets just spend it while you can
The moon and the stars they all look down on me and say
there's a correlation between tomorrow and today
I say you won't gain a thing on that sick repudiation
we're right here right now that's the only situation
you can't fool me we live on borrowed time
so I spend the funds I have down to the nickel and dime
check it in check it out it's not a matter of contention
get your gear shape up and join the church of consumption

Use it in wear it out than throw it all away
go get yourself a new one all you gotta do is pay
because the more I will get the more I will own
with a lot of things around me I won't never fell alone
I work around the check just to earn my livin'
and I wanna get I won't spend my funds on givin'
now I'm acting irresponsible is that what you say
hey
somalia got my toaster just the other day

This joins the ever-growing ranks for the sorry. The list so far:

Believe by Cher
What it's Like by Everlast
Invisible by Clay Aiken
You're Beautiful by James Blunt
Home by Three Days Grace
Ants Marching by Dave Matthews Band
Over and Over by Nelly (featuring Tim McGraw)
Deacon Blues by Steely Dan
Blinded by the Light by Manfred Mann
All Out of Love by Air Supply
Ricky Don't Lose That Number by Steely Dan
Roll to Me by Del Amitri
Supersonic by JJ Fad
Glycerine by Bush

Hey, you know that one ....

I keep telling you about with the beards? Well, this is it.

Enjoy

Yuck

While this may not yet reach the level of All-Time Worst Song, it is rather awful.

This one is popping up no matter where you turn your head, and I for one would like to see it go the way of all the other inflated payola crapola.

Here for your unenjoyment is a heaping, steaming pile:

Remember Mentos?

Long before people were putting these things in Coke, shaking the bottle and filming the results for Internet broadcast, they were enjoying their humorless and annoying commercials. The Foo Fighters spoofed all the ads with their video for "Big Me." Here are the lyrics:

when I talk about it
it carries on
reasons only knew
when I talk about it
aries or treasons all renew

big me to talk about it
I could stand to prove
if we can get around it
I know that it's true

when I talked about it
carried on
reasons only knew

but it's you I fell into

well I talked about it
put it on
never was it true
but it's you I fell into

All-Time Worst Songs - Period

Yet another addition to the "All-Time Worst Songs - Period" list. This time: Glycerine by Bush. This song is terrible, and the video is equally poor. Sucky.

This one joins these other sorry songs:

Believe by Cher
What it's Like by Everlast
Invisible by Clay Aiken
You're Beautiful by James Blunt
Home by Three Days Grace
Ants Marching by Dave Matthews Band
Over and Over by Nelly (featuring Tim McGraw)
Deacon Blues by Steely Dan
Blinded by the light by Manfred Mann
All Out of Love by Air Supply
Ricky Don't Lose That Number by Steely Dan
Supersonic by JJ Fad

Ha ha

All-Time Worst Songs -- Period (so far)

Believe by Cher
What it's Like by Everlast
Invisible by Clay Aiken
You're Beautiful by James Blunt
Home by Three Days Grace
Ants Marching by Dave Matthews Band
Over and Over by Nelly (featuring Tim McGraw)
Deacon Blues by Steely Dan
Blinded by the light by Manfred Mann
All Out of Love by Air Supply
Ricky Don't Lose That Number by Steely Dan

All-Time Worst Songs - Period

And the newest addition is . . . Over and Over by Nelly (featuring Tim McGraw). Add this one to the following:

Deacon Blues by Steely Dan
Blinded by the light by Manfred Mann
All Out of Love by Air Supply
Ricky Don't Lose That Number by Steely Dan

W N T E . . . . The Next Generation

It's customary to expect some changes to occur when an established program switches networks. And Where Not To Eat (WNTE) is no exception.

But this time, I don't really have much in the way of radical departures. So, enjoy a more traditional installment courtesy of your friends and mine -- WFMY News:

Los Catrachos - A "huge" roach problem and employees smoking in the kitchen. Los Catrachos' permit was suspended "due to the fact of no hot water."
(NOTE: Apparently hot water is necessary to combat huge roaches.)

Bojangles - An employee eating while working; "effective hair restraints must be worn properly" -- a problem noted three times before.
(NOTE: Bojangles' new menu options include half-eaten entrees as well as New Orleans-style hairy dishes. Yummy!)

Billy Bob's Silver Diner - Pans not cleaned thoroughly and cutting boards need to be replaced.
(NOTE: I find it hard to believe that any establishment with "Billy Bob" in the name could be harboring some kind of improper food preparation measures. It's just unthinkable . . . )

You've had the yin, now here's the yang

As a natural progression of our "All-Time Worst Songs - Period" awards, I now introduce the opportunity for you stuff the ballot box with "You Gotta Hear It" tunes. Let us know what's great or what you like -- I won't argue with you about it (just don't try to slip in one of the other All Stars).

To get it started:

Balloting begins today ....

As an online community, I believe we can come together to collectively notify the world that there is some truly bad music out there . . . tunes to be avoided.

So beginning today, right here and now, I am opening the ballot box for the "All-Time Worst Songs - Period." These titles would be the ones in Hell's jukebox . . . these are the only selections Hitler can punch up in that great Eternal Infernal Waffle House.

I'm not looking to argue song merits or artist talent -- I simply want to know what you think sucks out loud. You can make your selections in the comment box or send me an email to notblogger@gmail.com, and I'll post them here later.

To get things rolling, I submit to you:

DEACON BLUES by Steely Dan from the album "AJA" (1977)

This is the day
Of the expanding man
That shape is my shade
There where I used to stand
It seems like only yesterday
I gazed through the glass
At ramblers
Wild gamblers
That's all in the past

You call me a fool
You say it's a crazy scheme
This one's for real
I already bought the dream
So useless to ask me why
Throw a kiss and say goodbye
I'll make it this time
I'm ready to cross that fine line

CHORUS:
I'll learn to work the saxophone
I'll play just what I feel
Drink Scotch whisky all night long
And die behind the wheel
They got a name for the winners in the world
I want a name when I lose
They call Alabama the Crimson Tide
Call me Deacon Blues

My back to the wall
A victim of laughing chance
This is for me
The essence of true romance
Sharing the things we know and love
With those of my kind
Libations
Sensations
That stagger the mind

I crawl like a viper
Through these suburban streets
Make love to these women
Languid and bittersweet
I'll rise when the sun goes down
Cover every game in town
A world of my own
I'll make it my home sweet home

CHORUS

This is the night
Of the expanding the man
I take one last drag
As I approach the stand
I cried when I wrote this song
Sue me if I play too long
This brother is free
I'll be what I want to be

CHORUS

Toasty panda

Songs You Know By Heart (beer, sports)

Seen that Budweiser Select ad where virtually everything in the world is shaped like the corporate logo? No? Then you haven't been watching sporting events on TV lately.

The tune is none other than The Chemical Brother's "Galvanizes," and it features Q-Tip from A Tribe Called Quest.

Songs You Know By Heart (telecom, movies)

Bellsouth wants you to be stuck in the middle with someone. Back in the 1970s, Stealer's Wheel was "Stuck in the Middle with You."

This one's got everything: cow bell, freaky food eating and film prominence. What more could you ask for?

Here are the lyrics:

Well, I don't know why I came here tonight
I got a feelin' that something ain't right
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair
And I'm wonderin' how I'll get down those stairs
Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right
Here am I stuck in the middle with you

Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you
And I'm wonderin' what it is I should do
It's so hard to keep this smile from my face
Losin' control, I'm all over the place
Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right
Here am I stuck in the middle with you

Well, you started off with nothing
And you're proud that you're a self-made man
And your friends they all come crawling
Slap you on the back and say
Please, please

Well, I'm stuck in the middle with you
And I'm wonderin' what it is I should do
Is it cool to go to sleep on the floor?
I don't think that I can take it anymore
Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right
Here am I stuck in the middle with you

Well, you started off with nothing
And you're proud that you're a self-made man
And your friends they all come crawling
Slap you on the back and say
Please, please

Well, I don't know why I came here tonight
I got a feelin' that something ain't right
I'm so scared in case I fall off my chair
And I'm wonderin' how I'll get down those stairs
Clowns to left of me, jokers to the right
Here am I stuck in the middle with you
Here I am stuck in the middle with you
Yes, I'm stuck in the middle with you
Stuck in the middle with you

One of the worst TV shows of all time

I defy you to offer one single argument as to why this show was ever worth watching.

It sucked.

You know you dig it . . .

I had this on 45 rpm single. A SIDE = English; B SIDE = Deutsch.

Classic



And they're still at it . . .

Bad TV at its best . . .

Every now and again I'll remember some really bad TV show, movie or music video, and YouTube provides some footage.

Then I share with you . . .

Say it ain't so, Jesse . . . .

Did you know ?

Not only do they still make Silly Putty, but it comes in a 5-pound block, should you so desire . . .

WTF?

Um . . . no -- just no.

Songs you know by heart (cars)

Nissan is now using The Who's "Magic Bus" to make you want to drive/purchase/lease/otherwise get behind the wheel of their newest minivan.

The vehicle itself does look pretty neat with all the seat options and video screens, which all come as premium add-ons, I'm sure.

Songs you know by heart (cars)

Mercury ads are now using parts of Morningwood's "Nth Degree"

Songs you know by heart (clothing, sports, everything under the sun)

The quintessential rock song is now selling ladies pants. AC/DC's "Back in Black" is such an unloading of power-packed vocals and riffs that it gets more than its fair share of play everywhere -- TV included.

The Gap ad is original, but don't forget the original original:

Songs you know by heart (sports)

To say that I hate Rednex and its sucky song, "Cotton Eye Joe," is somewhat of an understatement. I wish that ever copy of that song would simultaneously burst into flames, destroying the host device.

It is a truly sad state of affairs to consider that every sporting venue in the nation uses this crap night after night. I wish it would just go away forever.

Man, I really hate this song . . .

Songs you know by heart (sports)

Metallica's "Fuel" pops up at any number of sporting venues, especially hockey areans. The song is catchy and has a driving beat that keeps you pumped for the next big play.

"Fuel" comes from one of Metallica's last efforts featuring the incomparable bass work of Jason Newstead (he of CBS's Rockstar Supernova fame). And I just can't get enough of Kirk Hammett's surfer break towards the end . . .

Songs you know by heart (beer, others)

If memory serves, Bud used Elastica's "Connection" in a short-run of ads featuring a blimp and spotlighting some upcoming event like a Super Bowl promotion or something similar. I've also caught this one in at least a few movies and some sporting locations as well as other commercials, I'm sure.

One of the things I recall most about this video is the way those powerful studio lights were reflected in the lead singer's pupils.

Songs you know by heart (cars)

Someone -- I think it was Nissan -- played Air's "Surfing on a Rocket" over idyllic scenes of young people driving their SUVs into the untamed wild for a weekend of youthful adventure.

The tune really is hypnotic if not a bit repetitive. I liked it enough (or at least was intrigued enough) to search it out. Here it is . . .

Songs you know by heart (cars)

Who can ever forget this silly little ad for the Volkswagen Jetta? It had a memorable comedic premise and a catchy tune. Score one (again) for the ad geniuses.

The song: "Molly's Chambers" by Kings of Leon.

Songs you know by heart (cars)

Car commercials have some of the best marketing minds in the world behind them. This would explain why their tunes are so catchy.

Here is Spoon's "I Turn My Camera On," which is a rather lurid song on its own. But, some auto manufacturer is currently using it heavily in their latest ad (it didn't work too well . . . I can't remember the automobile's name).

Songs you know by heart (sports)

There are some songs that you know you've heard somewhere, but you just can't remember how they go or what they're called. Then this is for you.

"Song 2" is familiar to just about anyone who has attended a sporting event in America, especially hockey. Parts of this familiar tune blast whenever a puck meet net or a ball clears an outfield wall. This is music for excited masses . . .

Enjoy

This is why we love "The Onion"

Video-Game Character Feeling Healthier After Eating Turkey-Leg Off Ground

Ad ripoff

I'm watching the NFL pre-game garbage on Thursday night when I see this commercial for a Sprint mobile broadband item. The commercial featured a cowboy/gunslinger slapping another gunslinger and pulling his six-shooter before the beating's recipient even knew what was happening.

This is a sequence similar to one in the classic "My Name Is Nobody" featuring the same actor -- Terence Hill.

Above is the original trailer for the film and below is an image from that memorable scene with Hill (aka "Nobody).

Behold the horror . . .

Here it is . . . the sorry "Star Wars Holiday Special" mentioned before.

Enjoy

Even better auf Deutsch . . .

This is the classic clip leading up to the "Who Shot Mr. Burns" episode of years ago.

But this time, you can watch in German. It's even funnier.

(Mr. Burns: Who the devil are you?)

D'oh!

This is one of the more memorable openings . . .

And you thought the "Star Wars" Christmas special was bad . . .

Um, what?

A young boy holds a large knife as he waits for permission to cut into a cake in Mexico City, April 30, 2002. Two men broke into a supermarket depot in Germany and left with just a cake, authorities said on Tuesday. (Henry Romero/Reuters)

Everything old is new . . . again?

I've busted on Georgie Lucas for the horrible CG he subjected us to as we tried to enjoy the three recent installments of the "Star Wars" saga, but I do have to give some credit where it's due.

Lucas is getting ready to do something every interesting with the first incarnation of his cinematic triumph:

On September 12, the original theatrical version of Star Wars will be available on DVD, bundled as a bonus disc to the 2004 Special Edition of the movie, which will be available for the first time ever as an individual movie DVD.

If you go here, you'll find a link to 122 comparison images of before-and-after adjustments made throughout the film, including in the opening titles and closing credits.

May the force (of sitting throughout it all over again) be with you . . .

Fleeing the hurricane and heading north? Here's some FYI . . .

In anticipation of Florida residents and visitors fleeing Hurricane Ernesto, the Georgia Department of Transportation’s NaviGAtor system has activated its traffic sensors on hurricane evacuation routes throughout central and south Georgia. Anyone can review traffic conditions on I-95, I-75 and I-16 as well as several state routes by clicking here and accessing the “COUNTERS” option under the “TRAFFIC” heading on the left margin.

-- Courtesy of the Georgia Department of Transportation

Creepy in the 8-bit kind of way . . .

This is the old-school Nintendo classic, "Shadowgate."

Way back in the day before those "Internets" were even a glimmer in Al Gore's eye, we had to clank in cartridges like these to find creepy music, interesting puzzles and strange atmospheres in which to skulk.

I understand that "Shadowgate" is available in other forms on other platforms, but it isn't so simple to reproduce those feelings we all enjoyed the first time.

As someone who is still interested in playing games (but not investing as much times in it as before), I sometimes wonder if there are many new games that could give me the chills again. Is it possible to get back the newness of the challenge and a spine-tingling mystery?

Any ideas? I'm open for a new challenge . . .

Oh no you didn't . . . .

Stupid ideas abound. Case in point . . .

"Take the God of poverty with you, too"

If you're not laughing by the time you get to 3:19, then the comment made at 3:20 will make you chuckle.

Comedy gold!

Give it up for the greatest show of all time . . .

The way it was supposed to begin . . .



The way you may remember it . . .

"Hello, I'm a real idiot . . . "

Stupid person

This looks cool

Check this out . . .

Just when you thought . . .

So, think you've got all the Lord of the Rings DVDs you can handle? Well, the quest for even more sales has spawned yet another edition . . .

Over at Amazon you can pre-order this "limited edition" DVD set:

For the first time, the Theatrical and Extended versions of each film are on one disc! This 2-sided DVD puts both versions of the epic film on one convenient, portable disc. You can choose which version you'd like to see from the main DVD menu

If you don't have any editions whatsoever, this might be a good move for you. Otherwise, this is a total ripoff and a great example of the kinda stuff I hate to see.

There are now so many different specialized individual packages of this and other enjoyable movies to make collecting a futile effort. You can't possibly have all of these without spending hundreds of dollars and having sets that are only minutely different from one another.

I say stick with one and to heck with all the rest. In the end, the ring makes it into the fire regardless of what packaging you purchased.

You know what Jack Burton says at a time like this . . .

Fantastic movie. Get it before it's out of print . . .

If you ever - EVER - see this movie . . .

. . . you deserve to have your eyes yanked out by an ill-tempered monkey.

Off-label use of a cat . . .

Off-label use of junk foods

And for those who love clowns . . .

Going "off-label," are we?

Here's an interesting new term surfacing more and more often:

off label

What does it mean? Well in the context of medicine, getting an off-label prescription means you're popping pills for some reason other than what the manufacturer intended.

For example, people (mainly women) have discovered that taking fist-fulls of prescription meds intended for other uses will help them lose weight.

Here's what the Wall Street Journal had to say about it:

The list includes drugs meant to treat attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder (Adderall and Ritalin), depression (Wellbutrin), epilepsy (Topamax and Zonegran), diabetes (Glucophage and Byetta), sleep disorders (Provigil), smoking (Zyban) and even opiate overdoses (Narcan). Often these drugs are used alone, but sometimes they're taken in combination with each other or with popular weight-loss medications, such as phentermine.

Amazing . . . science of a sorts at work.